By Susan Krauss Whitbourne
Through the learn on which this booklet reviews, we've been given the original chance to discover the complicated nature of 2 of an important matters within the lives of adults: id and intimacy. it's with deep gratitude that we provide credits to the eighty contributors in our pattern who allowed us to discover those tactics of their lives. Our function in penning this publication used to be, in many ways, a modest one. either one of us believed that learn at the Eriksonian suggestion of intimacy was once poor in that it was once restricted to the reviews of people approximately them selves. We maintained that this type of examine may provide just a slim, and doubtless biased, view of the intimacy improvement of individ uals. via acquiring complementary responses to the intimacy interview from either companions in a conjugal relationship, we are hoping to pave a brand new direction that fu ture researchers during this sector will stick to. past this methodological strengthen, we meant that this book's theoretical concentration may well positioned a brand new viewpoint at the well-trodden direction of analysis on marriage. This extra bold gaal is person who we confronted with a few trepidation. The literature on marital adjustment and pride is giant and most likely overwhelming.
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Extra info for Identity and Intimacy in Marriage: A Study of Couples
As expressed by this wife, her husband is the height of perfection: 1 absolutely revere and admire him. 1 feei he's a truly gifted person and 1 feei that he is my best friend as well as my lover and just everything. He's everything to me. He's really my world ... as far as sharing this kid, and he's been an absolutely wonderful, wonderful father. Very attentive, changing diapers, everything right down the line. He's been a very good support system forme, through this. Her efforts to assimilate her husband's personality and behavior into this ideal image are not totally without basis, as he does seem to at least reciprocate her feelings toward him of regarding cach other as best friends and being very much in love.
This situation presents an interesting dilemma in terms of the rating of identity assimilation from self-report interviews. On the one hand, the husbands seem to have some stake in presenting their identities in as negative terms as they can. On the other hand, the wives are attempting to present their husbands more positively than would be warranted, at least on the basis of the intimacy scores of the husbands. Who is correct, then? The question is impossible to answer. However, it is obvious that assimilation is operating by both partners, and in different directions.
The negative side of losing the relationship with his wife would be: ... to Iose the home base. The perspective I need when rm going through a job evaluation at work and 1 don't have any one else I feei I can talk to. 44 3. ldentity Processes in Husbands This man's wife serves a function in furthering his development as an individual and buffering him against stress. Similarly, another husband regarded a good relationship as consisting of: ... being partners ... 1 like to know when 1 have a problem confronting me that 1 have somebody here that 1 can sit down and talk to as an equal and get some intelligent feedback that's going to assist me.